Introverts and extroverts dating
Here are some tips for keeping your introvert-extrovert relationship running smoothly: 1. This means you have to be much more specific than "I feel like going out." "Well, I don't." Why do you want to go out? Decide who your sweetheart needs to get along with, and work to nurture the most important relationships. Don't assume the answer is the same for everyone — you may be feeling like, "We never do anything together," while your partner thinks you're in paradise because there's nothing better than reading your separate books side-by-side every evening.This leads to a fun spiral: extrovert wants to go out with friends, extrovert drags introvert along, introvert feels left out, introvert avoids social engagements, thus failing to become friends with extrovert's friend group and making future socialization less and less likely. ), it can be easier to form a social circle in which you both feel comfortable — while still, of course, maintaining your friendships from before you got together.
Since that never happens to me (and because it made me feel like a bouncy, shiny-haired cheerleader for the first time ever), I pushed myself to accept all the offers. If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. And while we’re on the subject of dating fears, it’s okay if you want to cancel.
You have to go on dates, just not every single one.
Let’s keep our discussions reflective, productive, and welcoming.
It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.
There’s a problem with the one-size-fits-all wisdom commonly intoned during dating discussions (“Just put yourself out there! After jumping through the hoops of answering questions such as “where are you from? ” one too many times, you start feeling that dates are no longer probable sources of a deep, meaningful relationship, but rather deep, dark pits of despair. You tend to be sucked of all your energy as if you’ve been set upon by a Harry Potter dementor. Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either.